Skulls and Rainbows -- Public Diary

I walked into Hoover today and say Sleepy Hollow.





I need a scalding hot shower, and acid bath, then another hot shower.

Its that dirty there.

God, I'm gonna miss AP. SO much. D:

...that we didn't have school today. boy, do I feel like a bloody idiot now.

I forgot my password.

Sorry.

I'm running out of things to do.

Help.

Now, Master Laxton,
show your head. What news from you? Would any husband suspect that a woman crying,
"Buy any scurvygrass" should bring love letters amongst her herbs to his wife? Pretty trick,
fine conveyance! Had jealousy a thousand eyes, a silly woman with scurvygrass blinds them all.

Laxton, with bays
Crown I thy wit for this: it deserves praise.
This makes me affect thee more; this proves thee wise.
'Lack what poor shift is love forc'd to devise?
To th' point:

"Oh, sweet creature,"--a sweet beginning--"pardon my long absence,
for thou shalt shortly be possessed with my presence. Though Demophon was false to Phyllis,
I will be to thee as Pan-da-rus was to Cres-sida; tho' Aeneas made an ass of Dido,
I will die to thee ere I do so.

Oh, sweetest creature, make much of me,
for no man beneath the silver moon shall make more of a woman than I do of thee.
Furnish me therefore with thirty pounds; you must do it of necessity for me:
I languish till I see some comfort come from thee, protesting not to die in thy debt,
but rather to live so, as hitherto I have and will.
Thy true Laxton ever."

Alas, poor gentleman! Troth, I pity him.How shall I raise this money? Thirty pound?
'Tis thirty sure, a 3 before an O;
I know his threes too well. My childbed linen? Shall I pawn that for him? Then if my mark
Be known, I am undone; it may be thought
My husband's bankrupt. Which way shall I turn? Laxton, what with my own fears and thy wants,
I'm as a needle 'twixt two adamants.

I need to get a new wardrobe. I mean, I like the clothes I actually WEAR, but everything else...? Ugh. I was looking for a decent shirt today, and I couldn't find one. Now I'm just going to fuck around and wear my white button up and green jacket because I CANT FIND ANYTHING ELSE. I don't WANT to wear that green jacket. Hell, I won't. I'll buy a new green jacket -- a heavier one, of a darker shade of green.  I simply cannot find things that match my tastes outside of what I already wear, which is borderline my tastes...



tl;dr need more button up shirts.

edit: I'm going to go eat a unappetizing looking salad.

I know many of my friends have heard my rant about Discovery Health before, but I feel like I need to post it here.

You know how on Discovery Health they show so many baby shows? Deliver Me, Birth Day, Adoption Stories, the list goes on and on. And they show them during the day. I think they show them during the day because everyone is at work during the day and since hardly anybody would be watching Discovery Health, they show all kinds of sappy baby stories until the work day is over for most everyone before they get into the hardcore shows like I Didn't know I was Pregnant, Medical Incredible, Doctor G, Mystery Diagnosis, ect.


I'm going to go watch Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Yay, I get to be in the chorus of AP with Kirill. Our first play where we're both actors! Out of two plays.

But the love between a techie and an actor is still very sweet.

I have been rather lazy, I do admit, but now that I am well enough to get out of bed, typing an entery is no problem.

I've been sick the past few days-- except saturday, where I was a makeup model for Alix. We got 2nd place in regionals, going on to states. Besides that, nothing exciting. Blah blah.

In my dream last night, there was this awfully nice Japanese boy working at Hibachi's (I was there for some reason) and I asked for his phone number.. he spoke very little English, and drew a map to his house on my hand instead.


That's all I remember

I have to get my costume renderings done.. I kind of don't want to. But I will later.

I spent v-day with Kirill.. it was wonderful, even if we both felt quite awful the entire day. I put the rose he gave me in a nice green vase.

Nothing else to say..

I feel empty inside

I wrote a really cool entry but then accidentally deleted it because I can't read french.

Ah!
Busy Crypto has been really busy, with the play and school and being somewhat depressed.

I had a breakdown the other night, and sadly for my wrist there happened to be a razor in my bedroom (right next to my stash of sugar packets I've stolen from school). I really need to find a healthier way to hurt myself, if I have another one of those. Spicy foods, I know is a way, since it hurts the mouth.. and plucking my pubes, but I shave so.. Maybe leg, or arm hair? Eh, well.

Today school let out an hour early due to a snow storm cold front type thing coming in our direction. I got out of my biology test ^w^ Me and Alix malled around for a while after she cashed her check at the bank. I saw some really cute bracelets in Wet Seal, and some awesome sunglasses. There's a huge sale going on right now.. if I can find the money I'm going in there to get those bracelets. ^w^ Kirill showed up after some time, and bought us a sub from Subway to share. I'm eating mine right now, since there wasn't time between buying the sammich, and the krt arriving for me to eat. No way would I eat at the transit.. like Kirill said, they should make eating at the transit an extreme sport or something.

Today we had this horrible awards asembally at school. The gym got SO hot x_x I had Cat with me though ^w^ I kept falling asleep during the awards... It lasted nearly 2 hours, I believe. I first checked the time at 7:15, then at 9:44, then at 10:44, then at 11:05. Most of that was in the gym, but I'm not 100% sure how long homeroom and 1st class lasted combined. We skipped 2nd and 3rd, too! Straight to 4th class. Health 10! The teacher brought in a thermometer for the classroom. At the start, 80 fucking DEGREES. At the end, 84 DEGREES! I'm going to complain. One boy got permission to take a picture to show the administrators in case they did not believe us.

Also, in Health, we ware watching this horrible VHS movie with subtitles. The narrator (Lewis) is so depressing, and that's coming from me. In one part we watched today he was like, "Lets see on the map how you could die today!"

Crypto out.

I've gotten attached to the song '60 Revolutions'.. At first I didn't like it, but I've gotten so attached to it XDD I don't know why, Kirill sent it to me..

speaking of Kirill.

I'm wearing one of his sexy button-up shirts <3 It still smells like him! *rolls around in it* This pleases me.. I can just hold the sleeve to my face and smell him~ That sounds creepy but I really don't care. He smells so nice~ (when he's not wearing that god-awful colonge that choked me and dad in the car that one time) Kissing him in the downstairs of the theater is kinda hot.. especially when he grabs my ass and kisses me hard, when nobody else is around.. >w<;
Techie + Actor love is one of the sweetest kinds of love..
Right behind gay love and retard love. And don't get me started on gay retard love.

I feel like drawing now.


So Carson is coming over tonight.. After school, Her, Hallie, me, Haley, and possibly Kirill (in a suit???) are going malling, then we're popping over to the theater. Er.. yeah. I'm going to do Super Techie things, while Kirill does actor things, while Hallie does orchestra things, while Carson and Haley.. do things. Haley calls Kirill 'Suit Guy'.. XD


i <3 suit guy.

x_x
I doubt they will close school by 8, which is in.. 16 minutes?


the ONE NIGHT I actually sleep almost properly, I wake up to find I only have 2 hours extra before I have to be hauled off to school. If I fake sick, then I can't go to the theater today. Tonight is opening night...

Maybe I'll end up drinking my 5 hour energy today.

Mmh.. so tired. I went to Kirill's yesterday and chilled there for a few hours. ;3
I got yogurt on his face :3
And we drank Monsters <3

After some time we headed to the theater. :3
I was nervous D;
But Dan is really nice, and gave me backstage crew duty which I start today. Practice all week!
Only my parents aren't taking it seriously D; They were like
"Oh well Monday and Wednesday is definate, but I highly doubt you'll go any other day of the week."
I'm so mad. and they don't want me getting a ride home from one of the cast members, even if said member is willing for drive all the way to Clendenin, or even halfway to meet my mom at elkview D;
I will go to practice anyway... Idc if I can't get a ride home with mom or dad, I'll find a way home owo

So it's a 2hr delay today.. and Ron refuses to pick me up for school. Mom's mad and taking it out on me, and has to stay home to take me to school. And she's threatening not to take Alix to school, too so Ron will get us. Ron is in a deep depression atm and his wife has to take care of him, so I am on Ron's side, but depression isn't a valid excuse in my parent's opinion. Nothing is an excuse to them. D:<

So, I'm innocently sitting at the computer and dad comes up, and goes, "Oh, is your shirt backwards?" and starts picking at the collar, trying to see a tab anywhere. This makes me uncomfortable, and I tell him to stop. This releases an ultimate rage within my dad, and he starts yelling insults and accusations at me.
Then he brings poor Kirill into it.

What.

I put up with his crap every day.
His disgusting habits.
His bitching about poor Obama.
and all these other things
and I just put up with it, smile and nod, and go on my way.

But the SECOND I am uncomfortable and wish for it to stop
I'm suddenly the bad guy
The one that yells and insults my dad every time I speak to him. The one that only cares about herself, and plays victim every time. the one that seeks outs arguments just to upset him. I don't even do anything half the time.

Isn't wishing for what is making me uncomfortable to stop an innocent request? Isn't that understandable?!  What is so bad about it?!
How is asking my dad to stop some action he is doing suddenly make me self-centered?
I rarely yell at my dad. Its not very common, no matter what he makes it out to be.

But the moment he brings poor Kirill into it.. I just want him to fall. I'm so angry, I could cry. Kirill didn't do anything. Just because I said, "can't wait to get out of here..". Am I supposed to want to live with my parents and put up with their crap all my life? Um. No.

I swear, I'll be out ASAP.

I started to study Russian... the alphabet will take me forever to learn! ._.
I got Kirill to write it down for me :3 I like his handwriting. It's nice and neat.. and he kept making fun of my hand writing! I can't help it if it is girly.
I did my hw at the mall :] I had to 'observe' a stranger for 30 minutes straight. I had to write down things like, what they were wearing, their facial expression, habits, ectect. Then draw a conclusion of what their life might be like. I stalked a black guy ^w^ It was pretty fun.  I really want to draw fanart for something.. I'll probably doodle up like.. Amy Rose or something.


<3 Kirill.